Everyone hates this tool. Use it anyway.
It's old-fashioned, it's annoying, and it still often works better than an app.
Hi there, my friend.
I generally don’t consider myself old-fashioned, and I don’t think those who know me well would describe me that way either.
However, there is at least one thing that I believe in strongly that is decidedly old-school.
It is one of the most powerful financial tools you have access to, and most people don’t use it nearly enough.
I’m talking about a phone call.
We love our phones, but hate making calls
Yeah, I know. You probably rolled your eyes or let out a heavy sigh reading that last sentence.
Ooooookkkkkaaaayyyy, grandpa. Thanks for that.
We’re perpetually attached to our phones, but we hate making phone calls, and I totally get it. Assuming that you can even find a number to call, which can seem impossible today and is likely to only get harder in the future, it feels like you’re as likely to find yourself in a never-ending loop of a phone tree as you are to actually get a living, breathing person on the other end of the line. Then, if you do get to speak with someone, it can be hard to know what to say, especially when you’re exasperated after sitting on hold for the better part of an hour. It can all just add up to a real mess that people don’t want to deal with.
Plus, chatbots, social-media-based support, apps and other tools can be incredibly efficient and effective in solving problems. There are absolutely times during which you’d be foolish not to use them today.
Still, in many cases, a phone call can give you an advantage that none of these can: a real, person-to-person connection that few other communication tools can match.
That matters, especially when money is at stake.
“There’s nothing quite like hearing someone’s voice”
To be clear, I’m not saying that people can’t make meaningful connections with text, chat and other tools where you don’t hear someone’s voice or see their face in real-time. I’m a writer. Believe me, I get the power of the written word. I’m also the father of a college-aged kid, so I know that text communications can be amazing and meaningful, too.
But there’s nothing quite like hearing someone’s voice.
I wrote about it in the prologue of “Ask Questions, Save Money, Make More: How To Take Control Of Your Financial Life”:
It seems downright old-fashioned, but this book preaches the power of phone calls. Hearing another voice can bind people together in ways that text-based communication can’t. Your voice makes you more real. It humanizes you, which means that it can make it harder for someone to tell you, “No.” It’s one thing to type that word onto a screen but something else entirely to say it to someone whose voice is trembling with nerves, with kids playing and a dog barking in the background. Social media proves this truth every day. Millions of people around the world post cruel, hurtful comments about others that never in a million years would they say over the phone.
But phone calls don’t always feel easy. It can seem almost impossible to get to a real person on the other end of the line. Once a human is listening, the conversation can involve a greater level of vulnerability than a text message or online chat does. That’s why most people tend to shy away from them. But again, nerves are normal. You can work through them, and once you do, you can use the power of phone calls to your advantage.
Put a face with that voice and the connection can deepen. Of course, I’m not saying you need to FaceTime with your credit card issuer’s customer service representative. However, in certain situations, such as negotiating down a rent increase or trying to get your gym to waive an initiation fee, making your case face-to-smiling-face might make it more likely to get your way.
As always, there are no guarantees that this will help, but if you think it will make you less likely to hear a “no,” what do you have to lose?
Making the call a little easier
Negotiating with someone can be challenging regardless of the medium. Here are a few tips that might make it a little easier for you:
Write out a script. Most of us aren’t the best at thinking on the fly, especially when there’s money on the line, so taking the time to think through what you want to say is crucial. Don’t stress too much. You’re not going to think of everything, but even just putting some thoughts down on paper to get started can matter. I’m a firm believer in the power of the script. That’s why there are word-for-word scripts included with every chapter of my book, and why I offer three ready-to-use scripts to new subscribers to Ask, Save, Earn.
Practice before you call. As silly as it may seem, having a friend or relative role-play the conversation can be really helpful. I’d suggest running through it three times or more — one that goes perfectly smoothly, another where your partner pushes back a bit, and a third where they really let you have it. Chances are the real conversation won’t go quite like any of your dry runs. Plus, you’ll likely end up wanting to rewrite your script afterwards, but just having the experience will probably make you feel more at ease.
Skip the phone. Talk in person instead. Sure, this isn’t always going to be possible, but if it is, and you are someone who feels more comfortable chatting in person than over the phone, consider that option. I’m thinking about a medical provider, a bank with a brick-and-mortar option near you, a gym or a contractor, for example.
Breathe. We have to give ourselves permission to suck at things in order to improve. I’m not saying that you’ll be terrible the first time you try to negotiate over the phone, but I am saying that it is totally OK if you are. Everyone you can think of who is amazing at something wasn’t when they started.
Until next time!
Matt